Chapter 1 of my future (hopefully) novel

This is just a clip from me and my friend Elaine's hopefully novel, Jolene.

Chapter 1:

Should I?

No.

Deep breaths.

It’s not working. I don’t know what to do. A drop of sweat slowly drips down my forehead; landed on my eyebrow.

“Jolene, do you want to or not? We will pay for your University and life expense,” Mr Waterloo repeated, “and also, it’s very easy. All you have to do is wear the chip for a year and report to us your daily life.”

“I’m...” I say, still not sure whether or not I should.

“You can trust us, Jolene.”

“I know but..,” I look at my parents.

“It’s ok if you don’t do it,” said my mom, tears slipped down her face uncontrollably , “we can live without the scholarship. I’m working on doing...doing some j-jobs to pay for our--”

“But then your daughter can’t go to university. House cleaning can’t pay for both,” cuts Mr. Waterloo, looking directly at my mom with his head tilting down, above his sunglasses.

It was true. There was no possible way my mom could pay for both my college tuition and everyday life expense through house cleaning. I needed that scholarship.

“I think…. I’ll do it,” I said.

“Good choice,” he said, smiling eerily through his speech. I could see the joy shining through his eyes, past his dark glasses, “the chip will be inserted tomorrow at 921 University Avenue, 2 blocks east of University of British Columbia, at 4 pm. Be there on time.”

I did not respond to Mr. Waterloo’s sharp sentence, he smirked quite subtly as he got up and left swiftly from the leather black chair that sat in front of me.  

“Sorry,” I whispered under my breath, unable to even put my face in front of my parents. I sat there quietly, without doing a thing as my parents bursted out in tears.

My throat grew uncomfortable, and before I have the will of stopping myself, salty water started come out of me.

***

“Jolene?” My mother spoke quietly behind me, “how are you feeling? Do you want some food? Some water? You haven’t ate since last day.”

“I’m fine, mom,” I say impatiently, still staring down at my book, suddenly feeling strangely uncomfortable. The feeling that somewhat seem to be anger bursted into my mind. Maybe it was because Mom interrupted me in the middle of the best part in the novel. Maybe it was because puberty didn’t end for me yet. Maybe it was because I didn’t ate for the day and was hungry. Yes, this must be it…….

No...of course it’s not!  

You’re not a child anymore. You know that’s not the reason. It was he whom stirred up my life into a puddle of unwanted pie.

It all has to be faced in the end.

I have to have the chip inserted in me.         

“You really haven’t ate in a while, Jolene,” said my mother, again, this time without the softness of when she first spoke.

“I’m an adult now, mom. I don’t need you to care for me. I can do things by myself now, alright? Some girls my age are moms,” I spewed those words out of my mouth, making clear I sounded annoyed, not wanting further disturbance from anyone.

She doesn’t know anything. She doesn’t have the right to speak to me like that.

“Jolene Grace Leroy,” said my mom, looking at me right into the eyes, “you are not of age yet, what if--”

“I’M NOT 10 MOM! I’M TURNING 18 IN DECEMBER!” My anger finally exploded, and looked into those worn down eyes that I was the most familiar. Without thinking much, I slammed my book onto my bed, “even 10 year olds can just do whatever they want!”

No-one could understand the pain I am in right at this moment.

“Jolene Grace Leroy,” Mom said my full name, yet again. I know where this is going to end with the relationship between us.

But I didn’t back off whatsoever.

Mom spoke sternly, looking right into my eyes, “stop being so immature. You know the difference between right and wrong. If you are truly grown up, then you should not be speaking like this to me. You know it’s useless.”

You don’t understand me.

I was out of words and rebuttals now. It’s fine, I’ll just go away then. Maybe she’ll be way less emotional like this without me on this world.

Then maybe I’ll just vanish from this world.

But because the arguments had already gone this far, I didn’t want to be one who lost the fight. My pride doesn’t allow me.

“Fine, mommy,” I said with an obvious sarcasm, “Now, do I have permission to go out by myself since I’m clearly not of age?”

“You-,” My mom said, but then stopped, and sighed deeply, “you will regret it one day.”                  

“Huh,” I said, loud enough for my mom to hear, “I’m sure that will come true,” once again, with full sarcasm. I swiftly and proudly stormed out of my bedroom, grabbing my purse that contained basically all of my personal items. That’ll never come true, I swore.

I can’t wait till I turn 18, I thought, maybe then I can finally do what my friends did when they were 12, ha. I nimbly slipped into some sneakers and slammed the front door of our old apartment, seemingly almost shattering the door frame.

The day was cool for a summer's day, and made me confirming the sudden thought that autumn in coming. I strolled down the street, still having my mom´s pained expression in my mind. The eerie smile that appeared on Mr. Waterloo´s face, and his sharp, penetrating voice that cut through me that time as he proposed his deal with me.

But I have to do it, I thought at last, even if that means losing my mom.

I stopped moving and looked up to the sky. It was as if a cup of ink and water was splashed accidentally onto the page of an elementary schooler´s artwork, seemingly accidental, but purposely placed.

Why does it have to be me…

I took a deep breath, and from the bottom of my heart, I sighed. I lowered my head, and started walking again.